Zettai Kareshi

I was lazily facebooking when I was tagged in a note entitled Boyfriend Potential Survey. Like a lot of Facebook quizzes, it lacked the crucial ingredient commonly known as sense.

Here are some of the queries.

Is he plastic or metal?

Hmm... Buzz Lightyear versus Optimus Prime?

Is he tight or bomb?

I cannot even hazard a guess as to what this is supposed to mean.

Is he a poem writer?

Maybe the author of this quiz was having one of those episodes where you can't seem to recall what something is called. Like the time Vanessa was trying to recall the word "puso" and could only come up with "rice covered in leaves". POET, gang.

Does he have pink hair?

Where did this come from, I wonder. And no. I like pink, just not on a guy's head.

But come to think of it, if I were to come up with the ideal boyfriend, I rather think even the best matchmaker would be met with the daunting task of finding someone who doesn't exist.

Let' scroll down a compendium of my ideal men.

The Perfectionist

This is Chiaki Shinichi. Conductor to the Rising Star Orchestra in the anime series, Nodame Cantabile. He has mastered the violin and the piano and although he had no formal training in conducting, he still won the Platini International Competition for conductors on his very first try. He is constantly harsh on Nodame, a brilliant pianist, because he expects nothing but flawless technique.

He appears aloof to Nodame, who is insanely in love with him, but in truth, he really loves her. He does try his best not to show it though because that's not how he operates. But he does have his moments. Like the time he buys Nodame a simple ruby necklace as a Christmas gift. Or that time he pretends to be asleep so that Nodame thinks she's stealing a kiss.

Or that time when he kisses her. *sigh*

AN: Check out the hands. I have a thing for hands...

The Cold-Blooded Casanova

This is Yi Jeong. Or Ximen. Depends on what remake of the anime Hana Yori Dango you're watching. But I prefer Yi Jeong this time because the name Ximen just reminds me of the time Gio said, "What?! You like semen?"

He is a serial monogamist, treating girls like canned goods with an expiration date. He is the best lover... for all of a week. Then he moves on to the next girl.

But underneath the cool playboy exterior is the heart of a man who can love deeply. If the right woman comes along.

And she does. So far, the Ximen-Xiao You / Yi Jeong-Ga Eul pairing has been my favorite in fanfictions for as long as I can remember reading fanfiction.

As the old saying goes, reformed rakes often make the best husbands.

The Conservative Silent Type

A similar creature to The Perfectionist, Kuroki is an oboe player often likened to a samurai. A man with a strict moral code and steadfast principles. He abhors garish behavior and will not give you the time of day if he doesn't like you.

But if he does like you, he will pursue you in the manner of old school courtship.

Flowers, parental consent, home by curfew and bowing. Don't forget the perpetual bowing. Which is the way of the Japanese so you can't really blame him.

He will never refer to you as "some chick" and by the way he respects you, he can make you feel like the purest virgin. (Even though you're really not. Best not tell him then.)

The Smart Bad Boy

And he has to be smart. A dumbass bad boy is just another name for a bully.

Ken Zhu is the first of the only two real persons in this list. I've been a fan since Meteor Garden and even though he's let himself go and gotten a bit on the heavy side, I'm still a fan. He can fluently converse in 3 languages and taught himself how to play the piano, guitar and drums. And man, he can cook.

The other side to Ken is the fact that he has 2 tattoos that I know of and has countless body piercings. In fact, the 3 piercings in my left earlobe are partly a tribute to my Ken fandom.

Haay... Did I tell you about the time he went to Manila and I got there 2 months too late? That has caused me a good amount of grief during my board exam review.

The Warrior

This is Kenshin Himura a.k.a. Hitokiri Battousai. He was a legendary assassin during the Bakumatsu no Douran but years later, he reformed and took an oath to no longer take a life.

He's sweet on Kaoru but his rurouni I-cannot-stain-your-pure-soul-with-these-hands-drenched-in-the-blood-of-the-innocent self refuses to give in to his desires.

Which is why I would rather prefer his Battousai persona. Just a look from those amber eyes practically guarantees ravishment.

And what does Kenshin have to worry about blood for? I ain't gonna bleed... anymore. LOL!

The Omnia

Okay, so maybe I didn't have to show him half-naked. I just wanted to show that underneath the genius IQ, the masters degree in Music at Berkeley, the successful 13-year career and the honor of having conducted the HK Philharmonic Orchestra, was a body.

A hot body.

Sure, he composes all his own music. He has starred in a movie directed by Oscar-winning director Ang Lee. He has been featured on CNN twice. He has perfect pitch and can play more instruments than I can name.

But the body.

He can sing octaves higher than a lot of his peers. He can dance better than a lot of professional dancers. He can converse fluently in Cantonese, Mandarin, English, Japanese and French.

But again. The body.

So I guess I'm resigned to the fact that no matter who I meet, no one can match up to the man in my mind.

And Dennise, I know this encroaches on the boundaries of "Korean crazy shit" but a blog entry is a blog entry. Unless you want to wait another month...

(Threa-ten-ing. Threa-ten-ing. Threa-ten-ing. Hehehe...)