Puberty, Is That You?!

I should never be left bored with nothing to do. Things happen when I'm bored.

Even as a kid, I was never given to messing with makeup. I didn't really like the stuff, much less the effort spent in applying it. This sentiment did not change as I grew older. Whenever a situation called for cosmetic embellishments, there was always someone to do it for me. Take Dennise's wedding, for example. Honey did my hair and Julette did my makeup and all I did was sit there and let them do their thing. Well, I did have to endure Julette yelling at me, "What do you mean you don't know how to apply lipstick?!"

Anyway, there's this wedding coming up and I realized that I didn't have anybody to do my makeup for me this time. Then I figured that I could just learn how to do it myself. How hard can it be really? And so I approached the art of applying makeup the way I learned how to do a thoracentesis. Read about it, see it done once, then perform the procedure.

After several hours on Yahoo and YouTube, I found watching makeup video tutorials a different kind of enlightening. There were these teens, practically babies, talking about Urban Decay primers, taupe eyeshadows, and all sorts of eyeliners. Apparently, if you're going to be using a pencil liner, it has to be creamy. At this point, I had to stop watching to grab something to eat. Hearing her repeatedly say creamy got me hungry.

Hm.. what else... oh yes, the brushes. My god, the brushes. I cannot wrap my head around the number of brushes needed to apply makeup! There are all these descriptions and numbers... small angle, large angle, tapered, fluffy, number 195, number 217... Egad. And here I thought there was one brush for eyeshadow, one for blush, and if you're really crazy, a lipstick brush.

Believing that I was armed with enough knowledge to try out my makeup-ing skills, I gathered all the necessary equipment to start painting my face.

Face powder/Foundation. Check.

Blush. Check.

Eyeshadow. Check.

Lipstick. Check.

Eyeliner (of the non-creamy kind). Super check.

A bajillion brushes... Che-- Hm.

For all my mocking of the different brushes required to apply makeup, I found that I ONLY HAD ONE BRUSH. The slightly overlarge, fluffy kind.

Okay. I've sutured facial injuries using silk 2-O when 3 or 4-O sutures were unavailable so maybe I can do this even with the not-so-appropriate brush. (I know, I know.. bad analogy but I'm grasping at straws trying to justify the insanity of my following course of action.)

I used the big fluffy brush to apply eyeshadow on my tiny ass eyelids.

And I did just that, as well as apply shimmery pink eyeshadow all over the bridge of my nose, my eyebrows and on the general area underneath my eyes.

After removing all that gunk with lotion (Yes, that is apparently how it is done.), I resolved to get my hands on the proper equipment. So, I headed to the nearest mall and down to the cosmetics section where I stood stock still for maybe 2 minutes, at a loss at where to proceed. Then this saleslady, probably in her late 30s, came up to me and asked, "What are you looking for, dear?", in that tone of voice people use to speak to 12 year olds. Haay...

In any case, I was able to find several brushes and headed home to start my experiment again. After 2 hours of applying, removing, then reapplying makeup, I managed to create a somewhat presentable made up look. Well, at least I think it looked presentable.

All this effort was done for a wedding and I don't think makeup will become an everyday work thing. I am of the belief that no matter what I wear or how I paint my face, I seem to have a look that's not at all doctor-y. I mean, I do try to look the part but some patients still tell me to my face, "Miss, can you please call the doctor?"

Really?! Even with the heels, dress, stark white smock gown, stethoscope and identification card that says Resident Physican?!